Gay Conservative

My first job ever, while I was still in high school, was at a Carl’s Jr. restaurant in Northwest Phoenix. I learned a lot about people there. It amazed me how normally mild-mannered people could behave when they didn’t get what they wanted, when they wanted it. People I’d see at church would go there for dinner and, not recognizing me immediately, would get impatient and yell when their order wasn’t prepared quickly enough. More than once, the manager at the Hogi Yogi restaurant across the street–where my younger sister worked–became so enraged about his food not being hot enough for his liking that he’d rear back and “return” it full-force into my face, leaving a mass of goop all over my uniform.

I’m now thirty years old and I haven’t eaten at a Carl’s Jr. since. Not because I don’t trust the people preparing the food, but because the experience was terrible.

Since then I’ve held a few different jobs, usually in the same vein. I never say online which agency I work for, because I don’t speak for them. There’s certain details I won’t give out, either, because they would give my employer’s identity away. Everywhere I’ve worked, from Carl’s Jr. to now, I’ve dealt with difficult people of all breeds. Both coworkers and customers have gotten me riled up with their behavior, and when I was younger, I was far less controlled. When I was a corrections officer it was simple: if an inmate gets in your face, you have the right to put ‘em on the floor, cuff ‘em and ship ‘em off to the SHU. After that kind of freedom with people who behave badly, it can be very difficult to follow rules that require you to remain peppy and professional even when speaking to an unruly customer on the phone. But let me tell you…when I left work today, I was playing my favorite Disturbed album at top volume.

I’m not an angry person, but I was very angry when I left work today due to the intense stress I experienced. I’m a fraud investigator. Part of my job is to analyze credit accounts for potential fraud, and in some cases contact the customer to verify any number of things (changes to pertinent information, new credit cards mailed out, new users added to accounts, charges that appear suspicious, etc.). I talk to a lot of different people every day. Understandably, some are suspicious of me and refuse to talk to me. Some don’t understand how the credit process works. Some of the people I talk to are grateful that someone like me is watching out for them, because otherwise they’d be paying for a criminal’s fraudulent purchases. But there are also those who have little ability to be nice, much less merely civil. Abusive customers are normally rare for me. Today, though, I handled an inordinate number of very abusive people, none of whom seemed to grasp the very plain, precise information I was trying to give them. Anger over their perceived inconvenience clouded their judgment to the point that logic and common sense were replaced with insults, taunting and a tacit refusal to hear any explanation.

Now it amazes me how hostile people can become when they feel they’re being inconvenienced. Today’s Americans seem to think they are entitled to never be put out when trying to obtain something they want, and it shows in the way some people talk to the representatives at their banks. First of all, being declined for a purchase while using your credit card can be frustrating, and people like me fully understand that. I’ve been declined for that, too. But in my case it turned out that there were over a thousand dollars in fraudulent charges on my account, and I had a voice mail from an investigator trying to verify that those charges weren’t mine; I just hadn’t gotten the message yet. Was I upset that I had trouble using my card? Sure. I had a backup plan, though, and I implemented it. I was able to finish what I was doing and call my bank when I got home and got the message I’d missed up to that point. At no time does a frustrating situation give you a pass to behave like a two-year-old.

Which brings me to my second point. It is unwise to leave yourself with only one payment option everywhere you go, especially if you’re traveling. A debit card or emergency credit card is a very good idea, and knowledge of your bank’s 24-hour service phone numbers is also a very good idea. If you only have one method of payment and something happens, you’re in trouble. This was a lesson I had to learn the hard way; while spending the weekend with friends in San Diego, just before my school semester was due to begin, I left my card at a bar. I carried no cash and had to have a friend bail me out with a loan because when I went back to the bar the next morning, the owner had lost track of it and I was suddenly up shit creek with a broken paddle (with, as another friend would say, a pack of woodland creatures pointing and laughing at me). It was embarrassing to have to ask a friend to float me a loan until I got home. Had I thought ahead and had a backup, I wouldn’t have been caught in such a precarious situation.

My third point is that credit card fraud is a very popular thing. There are people out there make their whole living by using other peoples’ high-limit credit accounts to get what they want. They are very creative, very cunning, and completely unconcerned with the effect their actions have on the rest of society. Most often, when a fraud perpetrator is caught, they say the same thing: “I wasn’t hurting anybody!” That is genuinely how they look at it. It’s remarkably narcissistic, for sure, but they don’t realize the impact they’re having on the world around them and don’t care. That’s where folks like me come in. We’re trained well to be able to spot the warning signs and make sure our customers are aware of what’s going on. We won’t just put a hold on your account because we feel like it. If we’ve done that, it’s because we highly suspect that someone with no good intent has hijacked your information and is trying to dump their expenses on you. We want to protect you from that. So when we tell you that we need to verify security on the account, don’t take it as a slight against you. We’re not trying to make your life difficult. We’re actually trying to ease your life from the worry of paying for someone else’s lavish lifestyle, and we do the things we do because they’re tested and effective. If you start swearing, becoming sarcastic and generally combative, we’re not going to help you. If all you do is get angry because you were inconvenienced and you refuse to cooperate, your account is going to remain on hold until we can be sure that releasing it for use isn’t going to be a risk to both us and you. Being verbally abusive isn’t going to get you anywhere. So simmer down, take a valium if you have to, and learn to be nice. As my father always taught me, you catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar.

Finally, a tidbit of information that every single soul in the banking and investment industry will tell you is God’s honest truth: there is not one person alive that is too good to be fired as a client. Regardless of how much money you have or how profitable it is to have you as a client, if you are abusive enough, YOU can be fired. So if you are genuinely incapable of being civil when you’re angry, then calm down before you make that call, or your life will become that much more difficult. Nobody is paid enough to be abused–not police, not firefighters, not doctors, not fast-food clerks, not bankers. Period.

Bottom line, that voice on the other end of the line is a PERSON. They are as human as you are. Talk to that person the way you would talk to your loved ones, because you likely wouldn’t be happy if someone you loved were being treated so poorly.

I like my fire department’s motto. It’s simple. It’s short, sweet, and to-the-point. And whether I’m at my job as an investigator or working as an EMT for that fire department, or I’m a customer myself, I like to keep it in mind:

BE NICE.

(For more information on credit card fraud and tips, visit the FTC’s website.)