According to Fox61 in Connecticut and FOX News, a small church in Bridgeport–run by Manifested Glory Ministries–has been performing exorcisms on teenagers believed to be gay. The YouTube video posted by the ministry has been deleted (along with their channel) because of all of the negative attention, and all users who had saved it found it yanked by YouTube because the ministry leaders filed “copyright infringement” complaints (I call BS). If you go to the Fox61 link, you can see clips of the video. The heads of the ministry, including the Rev. and his wife Patricia McKinney, angrily ejected reporters from their radio station yesterday, refusing to talk publicly about the video clip or their practice of exorcism with teens involved in their ministry who are rumored to be gay.
Last year, I shared my coming-out story. I grew up in a very religious (note, I said religious, not spiritual) home. Church was so much a part of our lives that when my family came to Phoenix in 1997, while I was a senior in high school, the only way my siblings and I knew to make friends was to go find a church and get involved in the youth group. Church and beliefs were very important to us. I went to bible school, interned for two youth ministers and later became a music minister/worship leader and toured with a Christian band for a few years. I was also a very unpleasant person much of the time, mostly because there was a part of me that knew I was a lesbian and I refused to acknowledge it. If I did, it would be a damning sin, one that would strip me of my salvation. It would end my life as I knew it, with my support system, my friends and the places that were familiar and comfortable to me. Then, when I couldn’t deny it any longer just six and a half years ago, I tried to find justification in scripture to kill myself.
Matthew 18:7-9 says, “woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes! If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having to eyes, to be cast into hell fire.” If anybody knows what it means to take scripture the wrong way, I do. I took this group of verses completely out of context and believed that it would have been better to commit suicide than it would have been to admit that I’m gay and go on living with a sin that God could not forgive.
It took me six months to come to a place where I was willing to entertain the notion that maybe, just maybe, I’d been taught wrong–and that I’d taught the same message in horrible error. To this day, I feel guilty for teaching the lesson that homosexuality is a mortal sin, that gay and lesbian people are the way they are because they have refused to accept God’s grace and God has given up on them. I have read stories of Christian youth who didn’t give their lives a chance and completed their suicides because of their fear of being rejected by their church families. I was part of the perpetuation of the myth that God condemns people and gives them up to homosexuality, and that lifestyle marks a soul as being forever lost.
I see stories like the ones linked above and it breaks my heart, because young people all over the world are being taught to hate themselves by people claiming to love God. I still believe; I just happen to believe in a different theological vein than most fellow Christians do. It’s something we’ll have to agree to disagree on because, as we all admit, we take what we believe on an awful lot of faith. But the young man in the video has my deepest sympathies. His faith–as well as who he is–is coming into question now, and he doesn’t know which way to go. I’ve been there. I know.
What concerns me is that the leaders of this ministry are completely unwilling to speak publicly about what they do. The bible also forbids doing these things in secret, and I wonder what else this church might be hiding. I’m living proof that being gay is NOT a mortal sin, and God still loves me despite what people may think or say about the condition of my soul. Should any of those young people questioning their faith, their salvation or themselves see this missive, know this: you are not alone. Many people have survived this struggle, and we’ve come out stronger on the other side. Don’t let any human being tell you what you should believe. Seek the counsel of people whom you believe to be wise, but in the end, only YOU can know what you believe, and why.
The only “gay demon” is the one being created by theology.
steveflesher
Philip
Mel Maguire
Mark Ciavola
Comments
Indeed, you were taught improperly.
- God loves you, always. He loves you when you are sinning and when you are not. His love is constant, and no matter how good we are we don’t deserve it.
- There is no sin in *being* gay. Sex outside of a male-female marriage is a sin.
- The issue is whether you choose to live according to God’s will. To use a poker analogy, you play the cards you were dealt.
“- There is no sin in *being* gay. Sex outside of a male-female marriage is a sin.”
Tom J., I think you and I can agree on the following:
God is perfect. God does not make mistakes.
God did not make a mistake when he made me or you. So, what purpose does it serve in making me Gay and then telling me I can’t act on it? What good comes from that? How is humankind better off?
I do agree that sex outside of a marriage bond is wrong. It is a sin. So, we see eye to eye on that.
But, to make someone who can never be a part of a man-woman marriage bond and bid that person to a life of involuntary chastity is rather un-Godly to me.
Mel:
I am shocked at what I saw in that video. I would like to believe that the best days await that man. But the optimist in me has a hard time believing that.
I was raised in a religious household. I was never taught being gay was wrong. Such things were never spoken of because they were believed to be rude.
When I came out to my parents it was a struggle for everyone to get on board. But it wasn’t anywhere near total acrimony.
As a gay Christian I’ve encountered more religious intolerance from other gays than I have ever encountered from straight people.
That man in the video faces an uphill climb and I pray to God he emerges from his personal struggle not only liking himself but also loving God too. Odds are either God is going to get canned on this or this man will can his sexuality. Either way he loses.
Thanks for the post, Mel. It was very heart-felt and well-written as usual.
I think you and I come from the same stock. I never really have shared my coming out story, but a chapter of my story is relevant to this.
After my mother accidentally discovered that I was gay one summer break from college, she shipped me off to the counselor at the First Baptist Church of Midland, TX (a large and influential Southern Baptist church).
He tried to talk me out of being gay, and I went along with it for a summer. Then I went back to college. And for 2 years, I reconnected with myself for a while and learned that 1) I was really gay, 2) that God didn’t hate me, and 3) my parents were going to have to deal with it.
My mom didn’t know any better after 2 years. She thought I was “cured” of my gayness. Then something happened. I graduated from college and was offered a nearly-free opportunity to pursue my Master’s degree at Ohio University. I accepted.
I lived at home that summer before leaving Texas for Ohio. About 2 weeks before leaving, my mother discovered that someone had been checking out gay sites on the family computer. I had noticed it, but I never said anything. But I was the immediate culprit in her mind. In fact – it was my 16-year-old brother. He was gay.
I took the hit. After immediately denying that I was the “pervert,” I had a few hours to think it over. My little brother denied it (he later came clean to me). I decided that a 16 year-old kid (the same age as the kid in the video) didn’t deserve to go through the drama and crying and screaming that I had known when it was discovered that I was a homo.
I came out of my room later that evening and told my mother that the internet activity was my doing – I had lied. Two weeks later, she sent her oldest son 1400 miles away thinking that he had regressed into the sinful gay life.
It’s a catch-22. You’re damned if you’re gay according to some. Others will say that you’re damned if you, as gay person, have sex. And then others will qualify that and say that you’re damned if you’re gay and have sex outside of marriage. Give me a break.
My little brother and I are not going to hell because we’re gay. I am not gay by choice. If I had the choice, I would forsake all the hardships. And I’m not going to hell because I am gay and have sex outside of marriage. We can get into the same tired debates over gay marriage. I just got out of a 6-year relationship. Sorry guys – I wasn’t celibate.
I’m not afforded the opportunity to marry or divorce under current “civil” law. And I am tired of hearing that it’s ok for me to be gay as long as I don’t have sex. I’ll argue theology with anyone who cares to bring it on. I’ve had about 18 years to think about this.
I am a child of God and accepted his offer of salvation. He has never foresaken me, and I hope to be in a devoted relationship again. It is hypocritical for straight folks who divorce at will to lecture gay folks about marriage.
Gay exorcisms aren’t necessary. Shipping us off to counselors or gay-cleansing camps isn’t necessary. We are humans, and we deserve the same rights as straight couples. And we are no less God’s children than straight people.
Tom – believe it or not, folks like you are the reason I refuse to believe all the hype about “hate” in the church. I believe you are misguided, but not hateful.
John – I’m with you about the religious discrimination thing. I’ve gotten more hate from other homosexuals for being conservative and a Christian than I have from Christians for being gay. I simply see what they do as (as I’ve already said) misguided rather than hateful. When I was younger, I didn’t hate homosexuals. I just saw them differently.
Philip – WOW. Thank you for sharing that. May I ask how your brother is doing now and how your family is dealing with what happened?
I would like to clarify one thing. I said sex outside of a marriage bond is a sin. I do believe that. I have commited that sin too many times to count.
Sin is also forgiven too. It is not my standing to judge others. If you wish to have relations outside of a marriage bond, then that is between you, God and the person you have relations with.
I hope I did not offend anyone with my comment about sex outside of a marriage bond.
I’d share my coming out story but none of you would believe it. When my parents get in my corner and back me up or anyone else, they coming out swinging when the bell rings. Sometimes they swing too hard.
John wrote … “But, to make someone who can never be a part of a man-woman marriage bond and bid that person to a life of involuntary chastity is rather un-Godly to me.”
We are never going to understand why God does what he does. That is one of the essential elements of humility.
“The God I love wouldn’t do that … ” is an argument founded in hubris, and is typically a rationalization for a simple unwillingness to obey.
““The God I love wouldn’t do that … ” is an argument founded in hubris, and is typically a rationalization for a simple unwillingness to obey.”
Obey who? Exactly which parts? And is one sin worse than the next? If being gay is a sin, is smoking? Is drinking a beer? Is jay-walking across the street? Just how far does one obey and what-if, just what-if, you did something today that would qualify as an act of disobedience in the eyes of God?
We’re sinners. That’s what we were born to do. We can debate the reasons why homosexuality is mentioned in the Bible and under what context, etc.
But one thing that remains a fact is that Christ’s blood paid our debt for us if we believe and give our lives to him.
Knowing that and having that simple logic bring tears to your eyes is the humility I think you’re referring to perhaps.
Suppose one never will know.
“We are never going to understand why God does what he does. That is one of the essential elements of humility.”
It is difficult to understand things when they are not explained to you. When someone intentionally keeps me ignorant then my choice to understand is taken away.
“Obey who? Exactly which parts?”
Thanks!!! I’ve never in my life been able to pin down a Bible Thumper on where they draw the line between right and wrong within what the Bible says.
Homosexuality is a sin they tell us. But the Bible says divorced people who remarry are to be put to death. Gee, how come the latter of those two is passed on by?
Mel -
My brother has struggled through a lot of personal hardships….not gay related, but he seems to be better now. He is in a committed relationship and seems to be very happy.
My mom doesn’t approve, but she deals with it. After my brother came out, she was faced with a decision. And she decided that it wasn’t worth it to lose both of her sons. We don’t discuss the issue much, but we have an awkward but functional semblance of a family.
My dad? He just loves me. No sweat with him.
“My mom doesn’t approve, but she deals with it. After my brother came out, she was faced with a decision. And she decided that it wasn’t worth it to lose both of her sons. We don’t discuss the issue much, but we have an awkward but functional semblance of a family.
My dad? He just loves me. No sweat with him.”
Phillip –
Thanks for sharing that Phillip. Your dad sounds like he is on board and your mom will get there eventually. Until she does, it sounds like you and your brother are each living your lives and not wating for her to come around before you live your lives.
My dad and I don’t discuss stuff either, John. But we don’t need to. It’s not relevant in our relationship. We watch football together, go fishing, kick back beers. He’s my best friend.
But if we ever did discuss it, he’d probably shrug his shoulders and pat me on the back. He probably doesn’t totally understand. But he loves me unconditionally. He’s an incredible father.
“It is hypocritical for straight folks who divorce at will to lecture gay folks about marriage.”
AMEN! I cannot begin to tell you how much that irks me. Those who seek to protect the “sanctity” of marriage really ought to start with the basic tenets of marriage, sexual orientation aside. It would appear to me that divorce poses a much bigger threat to the institution of marriage than two people of the same sex tying the knot.
As far as the religious aspect of this, I never really understood it. It’s been my experience that some that call themselves christians love to point out other people’s “flaws” because they cannot find those same flaws within themselves. I can remember wearing a tee shirt that read “End Homophobia” in my church and catching flak for it. When I pushed back, the only answer I could get were slogans like “hate the sin, not the sinner”. Another time I had to explain the sheer absurdity of being opposed to the notion of tolerance, because some close minded meathead didn’t like the idea of teaching small children that they should accept people for who they are.
I am a firm believer that gay people don’t choose to be gay any more than I chose to be straight, or black people chose to be black. We’re born the way God made us, and contrary to some people’s beliefs, God does not “hate fags”…
“It would appear to me that divorce poses a much bigger threat to the institution of marriage than two people of the same sex tying the knot.”
I do appreicate your open minded views on gay rights.
I consider divorce upholding the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is supposed to be a bond between continually consenting adults. When it is no longer viable, getting a divorce is showing respect for the institution of marriage. Staying together and faking it is not.
I post this because when I was growing up, my parents should have divorced. They stayed together for the sake of the children. Truth be told, they never should have had four kids or had the four they had. The things you learn later eh?
As much as I love my parents, there was a time when I believed they had no respect for marriage and I do not think I was 100 percent wrong in that view.
John in CA wrote …
> I consider divorce upholding the sanctity of
> marriage. Marriage is supposed to be a bond
> between continually consenting adults.
This is a rationalization, and utter nonsense. A marriage is not a month-to-month lease, and it is not simply serial monogamy.. It is a sealed, permanent bond made *among* a man, a woman, and God.
> When it is no longer viable, getting a divorce
> is showing respect for the institution of
> marriage.
Again, NONSENSE. Not every marriage is going to last until death, for lots of reasons, all revolving around our nature as flawed beings. But that doesn’t mean that we should move in and our of marriages to suit our own desires.
> Staying together and faking it is not.
This is a straw man .. you ignore the choice to stay together, choosing to love the other person even if the feeling isn’t there, and working to make it better even if it isn’t good now.
THAT is respect for the institution of marriage and for the God that created it.
> Truth be told, they never should have had
> four kids or had the four they had.
Do you really believe that you would be better off having never existed, or that the world would be better of for you not having existed?
All of these arguments make a fundamentally flawed presumption … that we should be making decisions that God has made for us.
“> Staying together and faking it is not.
This is a straw man .. you ignore the choice to stay together, choosing to love the other person even if the feeling isn’t there, and working to make it better even if it isn’t good now.”
I sure hope you are never in that situation because you won’t prefer it.
My sister married a man with no ambition. Plus he was a mam’s boy too. Whatever mama wanted, mama got.
After five years of constant financial struggle and him running to mama every single time she yelled Jump, my sister had enough.
He wasn’t willing to change. She tried to tolerate sharing her husband with her mother in-law. She even accepted a lower standard of living provided they both live within their means.
But it did not work out. Her husband was unwilling to meet her half way, a quarter of the way or even move one inch towards making it better.
Why should she stay in that mess? She did not stay in that mess. I don’t blame her.