Conspiracies Everywhere

I have to post a short missive about some of the idiocy that has contributed to the stupefying of American culture lately. I have to tell you, though, to read Steve’s post below…he beat me to it, and I have to give a right-o to Issa for standing up. Steve’s got some good links in that post.

Anyway, I’ve been hearing some amazing things from both sides of the political bent lately. It seems like there’s a conspiracy for everything and I’m tired of hearing about it. We all laughed at the twitchy, irritating character that Mel Gibson played in the movie Conspiracy Theory. Unfortunately, real life doesn’t make those guys nearly as easy to spot. There are conspiracies everywhere–some espoused by people we would normally think of as completely down-to-Earth.

Such as anti-Semitic ideas. Where in the world did this come from? I know two people (I do not call them my friends, mind you) who think that Jews are always conspiring to take over the world’s banking system and, thus, the whole world. Words escape me.

Speaking of which, those ideas sometimes tie in with the most famous conspiracy theories of our generation: 9/11 conspiracies. Even the most popular “truther” film, Loose Change, tries to pin some of its makers’ half-wit conspiracies on Jews in the banking system. Either way, “9/11 was an inside job” has become the rallying cry for hordes of mostly young Americans who are gullible enough to believe anything they read or hear without researching the matter themselves. That sort of thing is normally based on entirely emotional reactions; they hear something that they feel may be plausible, and before they give alternate theories a chance, they’ve completely invested themselves in a slew of crackpot ideas that have long since been debunked.

9/11 truthers–or twoofers, as I lovingly refer to them–are on a level all their own. With claims of explosives being planted in the towers, no planes being crashed in Washington, DC and Shanksville, and fire department complicity in the deliberate destruction of WTC7, there are no ends in sight for the outrageous claims these mouth-breathers will make. Occam’s razor went dull a long time ago…it’s now rusted over.

Then there are the gems who believe that George W. Bush “stole” the presidency. Let’s forget the fact that a federal judge declared the winner in Florida (which was the state in question) after days of ballot re-counts. This was a judge that had been under Bill Clinton for eight years; he wasn’t beholden to Jeb Bush, who was then the governor of Florida. In that light alone it’s pretty ridiculous to claim that the Bush family had some kind of conspiracy going. Even if they did, considering the claims that Bush lied us into a war for his oil profits, don’t you think they’d be powerful and smart enough to make it LESS OBVIOUS? Give me a freakin’ break.

Equally as outrageously stupid are the claims that Obama’s birth certificate is a forgery. We have twice now heard the State of Hawai’i come out saying that Obama’s birth certificate is the genuine article. It’s authentic. Fringe conservatives won’t let this dead horse get cold, though. It’s important to keep beating it. They’ve been dubbed “birthers” now. The argument is that if Obama wasn’t born in the United States, he’s not eligible to be the President now. So far, the only documentation offered to prove this is a folded and tattered piece of paper that’s purported to be Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate (oh…and some blogger who has made unverified claims that he/she/it forged the Hawai’ian document). It hasn’t been authenticated, though. And the whole brouhaha has given the Obamas the long-sought ability to say, “LOOK! Those Republicans are NUTS!” The rest of us are more willing to be wise about our approach and accept the reality: Obama was rightfully elected President, his Hawai’ian birth certificate is not a forgery, and there are far better ways to get our point across than embracing this lunacy.

And here’s where the cycle of lunatic conspiracies comes full-circle: Orly Taitz, the California lawyer currently refusing to let his lawsuit remain dismissed, is another batty 9/11 twoofer.

I know. You’re all shocked.