LOL of the Day

I like Harry Potter. I was formerly a Lord of the Rings-only fan; I grew up on LOTR and was quite disinterested in the competition. Then, out of sheer boredom, I watched the first HP film on DVD and was instantly hooked. I immediately borrowed the first five books (they were the only ones out so far at that point) and read all five – yes, even Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix, each weighing in at nearly 600 pages – in a week and a half.

This is what you do when you only have one job. Now you know why I have two.

That said, I was surfing Ambulance Driver’s blog and stumbled across something that made me laugh so hard I nearly ruptured my spleen:

And have you noticed that only Europe seems to have a problem with Deatheaters? Maybe it’s because Americans have spent the last 200 years shooting deer, playing GTA: Vice City, and keeping an eye out for black helicopters over their compounds. Meanwhile, Brits have been cutting their stakes with spoons. Remember: gun-control means that Voldemort wins. God made wizards and God made muggles, but Samuel Colt made them equal…

Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don’t think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldmort’s wand may be 13.5 inches with a phoenix-feather core, but Harry’s would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let’s see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.

Click here for the rest of the laughs. William the Coroner just became one of my new favorites.