I remember well when Madonna appeared onstage with Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears at the MTV Video Music Awards. At one point in the performance, Madonna turned and did a brief lip-lock with Spears. It was the kiss seen ’round the world, and everyone talked about it for months. It still gets more hits online than any other footage from the VMA’s.

I didn’t like it because neither of the women involved were lesbians and what they did was a blatant attempt at shock value. My life, who I am, is not political clout. I’m not here for someone else’s entertainment. The Madonna/Britney moment was deeply insulting to me because of the meaning behind it.

On Sunday night, Adam Lambert–the runner-up from the last season of American Idol–performed at the American Music Awards and turned in the raciest performance in the award ceremonies’ history. He didn’t just kiss a male dancer. He fondled one and ground his crotch on the face of another. Now Good Morning America has cancelled his scheduled performance, and the cancellation is making headlines. I can already hear the arguments coming from the gay-rights elite: “he was doing what’s natural to him! How dare you judge him! HOMOPHOBIA!!!”

I am thoroughly disgusted by the way homosexuality has been used as entertainment lately. I have no problem with someone being gay; I’m a lesbian myself and I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. I don’t sleep around, I don’t use drugs, and I’m not an alcoholic. I also don’t go to gay pride events very often because what Adam Lambert did is normal at those things. I’ve seen worse in both Phoenix and my hometown of Houston. I saw way worse in San Diego and Los Angeles the year I went to those.

Gay pride parades and festivals used to be about showing the world that we’re here. It was originally about having no fear of what others could do to us during a time when the mere mention of gay sex was a crime. Now it’s about shocking everyone to the point that we try to numb their senses. It’s become a vindictive thing, and that’s not what pride was meant to be.

I believe with all my heart that Adam Lambert meant to do exactly that–shock the entire country. I’m not okay with that. None of us should be. What happened to simply being allowed to live normal, healthy lives with the people that we love? When did that fall by the wayside?

We’re doing more damage than we realize by behaving in this fashion. Shocking the people we disagree with is not going to get us what we want; it’s only going to push us further from it. Like it or not, there’s a large portion of our society–both Republican and Democrat–who don’t like brazen displays of sexuality. Hell, there are interracial couples who openly voted against Prop 8 in California because they believe homosexuality to be wrong. Do you think this behavior is winning their hearts?

I wish CBS’s Early Show would cancel him, too, but they won’t. They’ve already announced that he’s still going to perform. I had considered buying his album, but now I won’t give him a penny of my money. Every single gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered person should be every bit as offended by this display as we seem to be by those who point to it as a sign of sickness. Like me and my significant other, what you do at home is YOUR business.

Being indecent is not going to win the war. The next time you want to make a show solely for shock value, ask yourself this: how often have I ever seen a straight performer doing this onstage?

If you can’t remember, chances are it’s a bad idea. If your talent can’t get people’s attention on its own, that’s your problem.